Behind Blue Eyes
by Whispering Ember
Summary: Sequel to Beautiful Green Eyes, Takes place during new moon. Edward left Bella but with many unknown loose ends. What happens when he comes across her more than 3,000 miles away from Washington in New Hampshire? Drama Angst  ExB
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey guys! So I've been wanting to write this for over a year, but that meant I had to get over my writers block in the last story. I hope you enjoy this sequel. Be prepared for angst and drama.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer… I just really enjoy torturing them ^_^

There are no words…

There are no emotions…

There is nothing at this time…

I lay in the middle of the floor, a permanent imprint of my body had sunken into the floor. It didn't even disappear when Emmett threw me out of the house stating that he wouldn't let me come back until I hunted.

What was the point? There seemed to me none to life now. Not without her. I remember the day so clearly. We had made love, such a wonder and life changing experience. I remember removing my hand from her flesh and seeing the bruises that were left in their wake. I knew then for certain that I was a monster. Despite my best efforts of protecting her, I still hurt her.

And then her birthday party that night. I couldn't bear bringing up the memory so I willed it away. This was the only way she could be safe from me. From what I am and what I bring upon her.

We had relocated across the country to Manchester, New Hampshire. It was practically 4,000 miles away from her. I wondered what she was doing at that moment. It wouldn't take long for me to get back, just to see her. Make sure she was all right. I immediately shot down the idea. I was too weak. There was no way I could leave her again.

Every five minutes I had that war with myself and it had been like that for the past year. I would try to think of an excuse to go back for her and then force myself to stay lying in the middle of the floor so that I wouldn't.

I heard small dainty footsteps coming up the stairs. I knew who it was before they entered and I cursed to myself as she opened my door. She flicked on the light though she could see me plain as day. I closed my eyes against the sudden light and rolled away from her.

"Go away Alice." I muttered. She ignored me and walked right in. Damn her.

"_Edward."_ She didn't speak but I heard her thoughts, "_It's been a year and you've barely moved from your room."_

"Go away Alice." I said again, louder this time.

She sighed. I felt a feather light thud on the floor, "_Were worried about you. You don't do anything but sit here in the dark. We have to force you to eat."_

I tried to ignore her. Rolling over onto my back I threw my hand over my face.

"That's it!" She practically screamed as she pushed off the floor. I uncovered my eyes to see her stomp over to me and pull me off the floor, "I'm tired of this!" She pushed me against the wall as she walked over to my many unpacked boxes pulling out a shirt and a pair of jeans. She threw them at me and placed her hands on her hips, "I get that you're mopey and depressed. I miss her too. But this was your choice so live with it! She began to walk out of my room before stopping, "Do something other than sitting in the dark before a kick your ass." With that she slammed the door behind her.

Damn her to hell.

I threw on the fresh clothes and walked over to the window. She was right. Moping around wasn't going to fix anything, and my misery was only hurting everyone else in the house. They didn't say it, but I knew. Maybe it was time for me to leave. Just for a while, so I could sulk without interfering with anyone else's lives.

Taking Carlisle's car I began to set out towards downtown Manchester. I didn't drive the Volvo anymore. It still smelled of her, and it was just too painful. I began to drive. I didn't know exactly where I was going, but on the way to my unknown destination I thought I'd look for apartments.

Somewhere along Elm street I parked and began to walk the down the urban area. It was dark now. The neon lights mixed with the old brick buildings creating a unique warm glow against the darkness. Above many of the restaurants, bars were many "for rent" signs. I made note of that as I continued on.

I rounded the corner near a local pizza shop. Right next to the pizza shop was a small salon, the windows dark. Across the street was a small club. The pink and red neon lights read "Fuse: XXX". It didn't take a genius to know what kind of club it was.

Not farther down the street was an art college. Just in the window was a small gallery. It was the end of the year and the senior show was upon them. That was something I hadn't done, maybe that was the distraction I needed. I made a note to check out admissions tomorrow.

Behind me I heard a door open. I glanced over my shoulder. A blonde woman walked out of the building. She wore a long black jacket. Her bang fell into her face as she lit a cigarette. Behind her was a tall man wearing a suit. His hair was greying and his steps were heavy. The woman stumbled on her stiletto heels. It was obvious she was drunk as she laughed and reached for the man. There was something off about her laugh. It was empty, joyless. The man wrapped his arm around her waist and steadied her before walking off towards Elm Street.

Shaking my head I turned and continued down the street observing the rest of the campus. After reading the top of the building I found the name of the college was "The New Hampshire Institute of Art." The school was a giant floating campus around a small walking park. I had spent a good two hours touring the campus before I began to walk back towards my car. It was four in the morning by the time. All the neon lights had been turned off and street was barren. Only my car remained on the side of the street.

Starting the car I pulled out of the space and began to drive back towards home. I hope deciding to study art was enough to get Alice off my back.

A/N: Ya know what I like more an angst ridden Edward? Reviews! Tell me what you thought of this first chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: HEY GUYS! Thank you for all the reviews they made me feel soooooo good and every time I get one it makes me want to write! So send me more feedback with what you want or how you think the chapter was and you'll get another chapter faster 8B**

**On another note I've decided I've been on FF so long and none of you know who the hell I am, so I've decided to do a video baton! (YAAAYYYY!) Sooo for those of you who don't know what that is, basically you send me questions and I'll answer them for you… then I'll post it up on youtube and what not. So if you guys are interested hit me up. They can be questions on anything… story, what I like, what color my undies are… Anything lol. But yeah hit me up this will be my first one so we'll see what happens.**

**Now that I've wasted your time off to the chapter!**

*****Please read author's note!*****

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><p>Walking the streets of Manchester became my new pastime. It got me out of the house and out of the worried minds of my family. They began to believe I was making progress; that I was starting to move on. That was fine. They didn't need to know that I was still wallowing in the self-pity. Only difference now was that I was in motion.<p>

Classes began soon after I had dropped my registration papers off. The night painting classes became a welcomed distraction to reality and my thoughts. It seemed whenever I picked up a brush all else disappeared around me. Not thing crossed my mind until hours later when I glanced away from the still life before me, and the painting itself. Other's thoughts didn't bombard me, forcing me to drown them out into a blurred buzzing sound in the back of my mind. It was as if nothing else existed.

I wished I could share this newfound passion with her. Let her know that something entranced me so much that I didn't get lost in my own mind. But I knew the real reason I wanted to share my small joy with her. It wasn't that I wanted to share it with her. I just wanted her. And thus we came back to square one of my wallowing.

Every night after class I began to venture the streets of Manchester and every night I saw the same woman leave with the same or a different man. It clued into quickly that she must be an employee there that men found easy to pick up. I kept my distance as they walked the same path every night down to Elm Street to her parked car. I assumed it was her car because she got into the same white Honda Civic every time.

One night the woman ventured out of the club alone. I had watched her leave with different men for over three months, so it piqued my curiosity at what made this night any different. I found myself wandering closer. Tobacco and nicotine masked the pleasant floral scent she gave up. I found myself pitying her, because I'm sure she smelled wonderful before she had taken up smoking. Now I couldn't tell what flower she smelled like with the cigarette overwhelming my senses.

I was only ten feet from her as she riffled through her purse, a cigarette hanging from her mouth. I continued walking towards her as it fell from her lips to the ground. I heard her groan in annoyance as she bent over to pick it up. I felt a small smile play at the corner of my lips and I bent down to pick it up before she did. She mumbled a surprised "Thank You" as she stood up straight, reaching for the cigarette.

I froze instantly, taking in the heart-shaped face and pale skin slightly hidden by the blonde bangs that covered one eye. The freckles that danced across her face rang familiarity though my mind. Her skin, just barely touching mine when she had reached for the cigarette sent electric currents though my body as I stared into her fake blue eyes. How long we stood there staring I didn't know. Seconds? Minutes? Hours? It didn't matter. I was too afraid to speak. Afraid that if I said anything this young woman would change back from the illusion of my love to the woman I saw every night leave the club. Her eyes were wide and filled with shock as she stared back at me.

I finally found my voice to confirm my insanity, "B…Bella?" My voice barely audible as I whispered her name, but she heard me. She took a step back as if to steady herself on her wobbly four-inch heels. It wasn't until I voiced her name that the floral scent masked by nicotine was freesia.

My eyes wandered down her body as I took in her the long black trench coat that she wore. She took another step back, letting the forgotten cigarette fall between us. I glanced back at her blonde hair and blue eyes, not understanding the change in her appearance. It was then that I really looked at her. Her face was pale, but almost sickly in color, not at all the rosy color I remembered. Dark circles surrounded her eyes like bruises. I glanced up at the neon sign as realization dawned on me. She was the blonde woman who worked here.

My eyes widened in horror as I looked back to her, and then back to the building, and then back to her. I shook my head as if I didn't understand.

"Bella… what…?" I let my words hang in the air, unable to finish my question.

I could hear her heat beat pick up at an alarming rate. Her head shaking as she backed away again. This time took a step forward holding my hands up, warning her that I meant her no harm.

"Bella…I…" What could I say to her? There were no words to take back the things I said to her. Nothing that would make her forgive me. So I stood there staring, like an idiot. She began shaking her head, taking faster steps backward, as if she couldn't believe I was standing in front of her. I couldn't believe it either. Then without any warning, she took off running down the street.

I was too stunned to chase after her. Still warring with myself that she wasn't a figment of my imagination, but then a thought crossed my mind, _She's getting away._ I forced my feet to move at a human sprint down to the street corner in enough time to see her turn down an alleyway.

I sped up, enough to close the distance between her. I reached out, grabbing her wrist and spinning her around. She squealed in surprise as I wrapped my hands around keeping her from running from me. I crushed her to me, holding her to my chest.

I couldn't control myself; I had missed her so much, needed her so much, "Bella… My Bella. Oh god, please let you be real, even if you aren't I pray I never wake up from this dream. I miss you so-"

"No!" It was then that I realized she was thrashing against me and I quickly released her. She stumbled back into the brick wall, her fingers sprawled against it as if she was trying to clutch at it. I stared at her dazed and confused by her outburst, "No! No, no, no, no, NO!" her blonde wig had loosened and misplaced. She reached up, fisting it roughly in her hand and ripped it off her head. Her brown hair fell and came to rest at her shoulders, much shorter than I remembered her hair being.

"You can't… You don't…!" I saw tears welling up in her eyes as she held the hand still clutching the wig to her chest. She looked up at the sky as if the words she tried to put together were written up there like a script for her to read, "You can't just come back into my life and say those things to me!" She practically screamed. Her breath was coming out in ragged huffs as her eye bore into mine, "You can't just appear and torture me even more. You can't just appear and lie to me!"

I stared at her stunned by her words, "Lies…?" Not comprehending I shook my head, "What…" I began to take a few steps towards her, reaching out to touch her cheek. Her eyes were so empty behind her flat blue contacts, her skin a sickly pale, her face twisted into a permanent frown.

Just as my finger just barely touched her skin, she instantly reacted, snapping her hand out at me striking me across the face. The crack of her finger seemed to echo off the walls of the alley. She didn't seem to notice as I held my hand to my face. It didn't hurt where she had struck me, but my cheek stung on an emotional level.

I continued to stare at her tear stained face as the droplets continued to fall. I shook my head again, "Bella… Bella… what happened to you?" I began to approach her again, even slower than I had before. When she moved to push me away I grabbed her wrists forcing her to look into my eyes, "I know… I know I hurt you, but there… There's so much more hiding behind your eyes."

She stared at me. The pain and torture flashed through her eyes. Her face crumbled as she fell back against the wall sliding down it, her sobs shaking her body. I kneeled in front of her placing my hands on either side of her face. This time she didn't push me away. I felt the vibrations of her sobs through my hands and down through my body, "Bella…" I whispered, as if my words would shatter her, "Bella…" My voice forced her to open her eyes to look at me. Her sobs had subsided to loud gasps. I could see her face flushing from the too much oxygen, "Shh…. Shh… Bella…" I shook my head as she stared into my eyes, actually seeing them, focusing on them, "Bella… what happened to you."

She closed her eyes placing one hand on top of mine. I didn't understand the gesture until she took a shaky breath and pulling at my wrist. I let her remove it from her face as she shook her head, "I can't." Her voice was a small whisper.

"You can't what?"

"I can't do this." She pulled herself from me standing up quickly, leaving me kneeling on the ground, "I can't handle this." She backed away, tripping slightly as she turned and headed back down the alleyway. This time I watched her until I heard her car drive off.

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><p><strong>Author's note: Oh Bella! What happened to you? Poor Eddie was thrown for three or four loops! We all know that he won't be able to stay away from her now! What else will he discover? You're all totally reading this like it's a "stay tuned for next time" thing at the end of awesome cartoons that leave you on cliff hangers. HAHAHAHA!<strong>

**Anyway leave me a review so that I can get better at writing this stuff. Also don't forget about the video baton. It will be funnnn! Well I hope ^_^**

**Ciao! ~Whispering Ember**

**P.S. I am on teh tumblrs…. Follow me if you like! It a random blog.**

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**If I get some people from here on there I'll start updating with… well… updates (8B) on the story o_~**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know I've kept you all waiting for a really long time. I was very dedicated this semester and had to sacrifice many things. Thanks to all those who stuck with me ^_^. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and know that until Jan. 9****th**** I am on break so I'm going to try to upload as many chapter as possible. **

**Enjoy**

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><p>I still thought it was all a dream. The idea that Bella would be in New Hampshire, 10,000 miles from Washington seemed completely impossible. I noticed a red light flashing on my phone as I drove back to the home. I picked it up and flipped it open. I had one missed call from Alice. Of course she would've seen this. I cursed myself for leaving my cell in the car, though no amount of forewarning would have prepared me for this.<p>

I found myself walking up the walkway at a human speed, still in shock from the encounter. Even if that was really Bella, it didn't make since why she would work at a strip club. It didn't seem that anything could be so horrible that it would drive her to such an extreme. Was this my doing? Did she completely change because of me?

Alice suddenly appeared in the doorway, her eyes wide as she stared at me. She didn't say anything, but I knew what she wanted to know even without my ability to read her mind. I walked passed her without saying anything.

"Well?" I glanced at her over my shoulder, "Did you see her?"

"You would know if I did." I turned, leaning against the wall. Carlisle and Esme suddenly appeared in the hallway.

"What happened? All I say was you seeing her, then it all went black."

"I shook my head, looking down at my feet, "She ran away from me…" I turned around and trotted up the stairs.

I didn't have class the next day, but I still ended up on Elm Street, unable to stay away. I knew why I left in the first place, but with her so close I couldn't control myself. I waited for her. I waited for her until they turned the neon signs off. She never showed.

I sat in my car staring up the street at nothing in particular. Did she quit at the risk that I might be back? I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated with the situation. Of course she would hate me. Even avoid me at all costs. But with her being so close I couldn't control help but throw all my original rationalities aside. I wanted her back. I needed her. I barely survived a year without her. Eternity was unfathomable.

But what if it was too late? What if the damage I had caused was beyond repair? I felt my hands tighten on the steering wheel. As much as I waned her, what if she wanted nothing to do with me? I heard the faint crack of the steering wheel and for a second mistook it for my heart. I loosened my grip on the steering wheel. I knew that was a definite possibility, but I couldn't let that stop me from trying. I wouldn't let stop me.

She took off in a car down Elm making it difficult to track her… but not impossible.

Jasper found me later in Carlisle's study. I'd been searching two hours on the Internet with no progress on her location.

Jasper stood behind me, carefully keeping his mind blank. I assumed it was so that he wouldn't annoy me. The act of him looking over my shoulder began to piss me off quickly. He picked up on my emotions and sent a wave of calm towards me. I rolled my eyes and turned back towards him.

"Strippers usually keep their information extremely private." His calm did nothing for me as I shoved away from the desk and stood up. I balled my fists as I stared him down. He raised his hands defensively as my hands began to shake.

"I'm only trying to help you." He stated as he approached me cautiously, "You have to go about this logically. A simple Google search isn't going to find her if she has this occupation." He took a seat at the computer, "You have to start at the source." He clicked home returning him to Google, "What's the name of the club?"

"Fuse, Triple X." Jasper hesitated a moment. In his mind he came to the realization that Bella was indeed stripping. With the different men she went home with each night I prayed she wasn't hooking as well. The very thought made me sick.

Without a word, typed the title into the search bar and pressed enter. The first was the club's website. He clicked the link bringing up a page with a black background and white text. At the top was the same logo as the club.

He clicked the "Meet our girls" link and up came a purple page with yellow text. Jasper began to scroll down the page past each scantily clad woman. Each picture was accompanied by a small biography of interests and what nights they perform on. I felt my grip tighten on the back of the computer chair. I began to pray to whatever high being existed to please let all the facts point to the truth. Please don't let her be working at that god-awful place.

The heavens were never in my favor. Towards the bottom of the page was Bella, my Bella, with the same blonde wig and blue contacts, wearing a bikini top and far to much make-up. I felt the chair snap up my fingers as I looked away.

Jasper was unfazed by my destruction, "Well she really is employed there." I heard the click of the mouse as he click the red "X" and closed out of the window, "They should have her address on file. Would only take a few minutes to find it. With that information you can do as you will." My eyes focused on the stapler on the desk. I didn't really see it as I fell into my empty mind. The only thoughts that crossed it were not my own and I tuned them out. I didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to do. All there was, was the intense guilt that seemed to eat away at my.

"Edward." It wasn't until he spoke my name that I realized he was trying to get my attention in with his mind. I glanced up at him, '_I'm sorry.' _His thoughts wandered back to the horrible eighteenth birthday, '_More sorry that I could even express.' _

I nodded my head, "I know." He reached out touching my shoulder briefly before he strode out of the room.

I flopped down into the chair. I felt as if I was run over with the events of the past few days. I leaned forward, cradling my head in my hands. I knew what I was going to do next, but then what? Force myself back into her life? I couldn't do that to her. Even if I wanted her that badly, it was clear that she didn't want me. But I couldn't sit back and do nothing. There was something seriously wrong with her and I had to do something.  
>I glanced out the window. The sun was still out and shining brilliantly. It would still be hours until I could even act upon what even action I chose.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: Ya know what makes me really happy (other than torturing the twilight characters) I really like reviews and feedback. So just click that little button at the bottom and send me a message K?Thnxbai!**

**~Whispering Ember**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So here's the next chapter ^_^ hope you guys enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it .**

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><p>The cool air felt warm against my ice-cold skin as it whipped around me. I hadn't really decided to venture this far, but now that I was here I didn't know what to do with myself.<p>

I also hadn't decided to look up the information to get me this far, not that it was difficult, I just sort of did it. For dancing on such a dangerous line, they're security was just… shit. Breaking in was as simple as opening a window and climbing in. The lock for it had rusted what appeared to be years ago.

All the necessary information was located in a tall file cabinet. Jimmying the lock was easy enough. I left no trace of tampering. A human could have done in as easily. That idea made my mind race, thinking of all the sleazy men that might have been here before me. I pushed the idea from my mind before any images appeared of what they would do with said information.

All the files were in alphabetical order. I began looking for Mason, Iris when Swan, Isabella came into view. This must be the only place her name is listed other that back in Forks. Pulling out the manila folder, I placed it onto the table and began to thumb though the pages.

I glanced at a wages page documenting hours worked, wages earned, taxes deducted, and tip per week. Rate of pay was listed for 7.25 and hour. Minimum wage. I felt my stomach flip at the thought that this was barely enough to motivate anyone to remove their clothes for public show. I continued down the page where the amounts of tips were recorded for each night. In the last week she had averaged 1000 dollars for the entire week. Well that was starting to make a little more sense for money, but it still didn't make any sense why she would do this. The Bella I knew was completely against anything like this.

"No, I'm just gonna check out back, see if we have anymore." A man's thick Boston trailed from down the hallway, "Margret usually keeps an entire make-up kit back here." I quickly looked at the through the paperwork locating her address and phone number, committing it to memory, "You said you wanted a red lipstick, right?" I filed the folder back in its place and made my way back towards the window.

"Crimson Bobby, Crimson!" A high-pitched, almost young, voice called. "So red…" He muttered under his breath. The knob began to open as closed the window without a sound.

Now I was standing outside of her apartment, five stories from the ground. It was early in the morning, the sun wasn't even up yet. I glanced in the patio door taking in the living room and what I could see of the kitchen. The walls were white and plain, the norm, but what surprised me were the furnishings and décor. It was very modern with nice clean lines, neutrals with just a pop of green here and there. Paintings hung on the walls along side family pictures of her and her mother, then her and her father. A young girl, no more than seventeen lay on the couch, she curled into herself and continued softly snoring. There was another quiet hum of a heartbeat, but I couldn't place what it was.

As I continued to examine the small apartment, the door opened slowly. There appeared Bella. A pain I didn't know existed seemed to ease at the sight of her. She flipped the bangs of her bright pink wig out of her face as she placed a gym bag and a black purse on the floor next to the door. Walking over to the couch she shook the young girl's shoulder. The girl stirred slightly then stretched and looked up at Bella.

"You can go home now. Tell your mother I said hi." As the girl woke fully, Bella walked back over to her purse rifling through it. She came back with twenty dollars and handed it to the girl, then walked her to the door.

Once the girl was gone Bella sighed taking the wig off her head. Her brown hair fell in waves over her shoulders. The she bent down taking off her bright red stilettos. Leaving the shoes by the door she walked towards a room taking off her earrings as she went.

Well she hadn't quit. That was sure. But why was there a girl sleeping on her couch… that Bella paid? The girl's mind had been too foggy with sleep to read fully and understand.

Bella walked back out of the room dressed in black lounge pants and a white tank top. Except for the excessive amount of make-up she was beginning to look like herself again. But strangely she seemed older, matured. She walked into another room cooing softly. Quiet gurgles and grunts came from the room. I leaned closer to the window trying to decipher the sound.

Bella emerged from the bedroom and all time seemed to slow. She made her way to the kitchen, holding a small baby to her shoulder, lightly patting it's back. I stared wide-eyed. Bella, my Bella, was a…Mother? I stumbled back unable to process the information. How, well I knew how, but when? And who? My gaze shifted back to Bella as she held a bottle to the infant's mouth. She began to make her way back to the bedroom smiling down at the child.

Alice found me in the middle of my floor again, Jasper right behind her. My mind was carefully blank, or so full of thought that I couldn't process it so it had just shut off. I was staring at the ceiling, I hadn't blinked in the past… however much time had passed. Everything was starting to make sense. It made sense why she was stripping. With the kind of money she was making she could support a child and afford and apartment and live comfortably. But there were still so many questions. Why was she in New Hampshire? Why was she living on her own? Who was the father and most importantly, where was he?

"Edward?" Alice began. She didn't come into my room, but simply sat down in the doorway.

"She has a baby…" I murmured so softly it barely made a sound. But Alice heard me and so did Jasper.

"Wait, what?" Jasper spoke this time.

I sat up, looking out the window wall and out into the forest, not really seeing it. I shook my head, "She's a mother." I looked over at Alice and Jasper as they sat stunned in the doorway. The entire house silenced.

"Wait… What?" Alice had heard me, but she still couldn't believe. I glanced over at her, my expression vacant, "But how."

"Alice I'm pretty sure you know how that act of child making goes." I laid back onto the ground.

She shook her head, "That's not what I meant I just…" She trailed off. 'But its Bella.' She thought. I continued staring up at the ceiling.

"That explains why she's working." Jasper was kind enough not to say the word seeing as a broke a chair last time at the acknowledgment of Bella stripping. He looked over at Alice, "You'd be willing to do anything to support your child."

"But it still doesn't explain why she's in New Hampshire." I looked over at Jasper, "I mean if she was in trouble why wouldn't she stay home and get help?" For this Jasper had no reply.

Alice shook her head looking up at Jasper, "We have to help her." She looked over at me, "We can't let her keep doing this." My eyes shifted up to hers, "Even if you still think that being away from her is the safest thing for her, she still needs help." I nodded looking back at the ceiling.

"I'll go back and see her tonight when she gets home. She can't really run from me there. I'll talk to her." I said.

"Are you sure that's wise?" I looked over as Jasper spoke.

"I think it would be too much of a shock to her if it wasn't me. Reintroducing all of us would be too intense for her to handle." Jasper nodded then strode off, his thoughts brooding and self-loathing.

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><p><strong>AN: OH SNAPPPP! Yeah so Bella... Baby... what? Let's find out what happens in the next chapter together shall we?**

**~Whispering Ember**


	5. Chapter 5

Rain poured down onto the city in waves of soft drizzles and heavy sheets. I sat on the balcony of an empty apartment where I had a good view of the parking lot. I kept watch for the white Honda civic I knew she drove. The hours passed and there was still no sign of her. The baby sitter had passed out on the couch ages ago. I wonder why she was late. My mind began to wander and I quick diverted my attention to something else. I watched as random cars passed down the busy street and wondered why there were so many. Didn't humans usually sleep at this hour? I checked my cell phone. It was 4:26am. It was then that the white car pulled into the parking lot.

I quickly made my way over into one of the side doors and into the hallway slipping into the shadows. I waited for her to get inside and send the young girl home. Once the girl was in the elevator heading upstairs, to her own apartment I assumed, I walked down the hallway stopping in front of her. I felt my stomach turn and flip as I pulled courage from within me to knock on the door. Then taking a deep breath I tapped the door three times. I heard the click of high heels and then muffled footsteps as she walked to the door.

"Maria, what did you for…" She stopped mid-sentence; a hoop earring half out of ear as she was taking out when she realized it wasn't Maria at the door. She stood there stunned for a brief moment then slammed to door in my face. I flinched at the almost instant reaction to my presence.

I knocked on the door again, "Bella, please talk to me." I begged. I leaned my head against the door. My chest tightened threatening to shatter my heart into even tinier pieces. I thought there was nothing worse than leaving the one you love, but knowing that the sight of you brings tears and agony to them is far worse. But this wasn't about me. I promised I would protect her at all costs and right now she needed me here even if she didn't realize it.

I knocked one more time, "Bella please."

There was a long silence on her end then much to my surprise she opened the door. She peeked out looking at me, tears stained her face as she searched my face. She still wore the blue contacts. God, how I wished I could see her beautiful brown eyes.

She took a shuddering breath, "What do you want from me?" She asked softly.

I paused, I hadn't thought through what I was actually going to say to her, "May I please come in?" She hesitated then stepped aside, surprising me again.

I walked in slowly, glancing toward the nursery to the left. It had a pink changing table near the door and pink curtains covering a window. I turned around as I heard the door shut behind me.

She leaned against it, crossing her arms over her chest. She shifted her eyes away from mine, "What do you want from me?"

I hesitated stunned for a moment by the helpless sound that tainted her voice. I wanted so much to reach out to her, wanted so much to hold her and that I would fix everything. That she didn't have to worry anymore. But instead I looked away as well. Looked away from her as if we were strangers, "You're in trouble. I can't stand by and watch while you throw your life away."

There was a long pause. Finally she broke the silence replying, "Who said I was in trouble?" I looked up. This time she stared right into my eyes, "No I seriously want an answer who told you I was in trouble."

I felt my brow crease, still confused by her question. I said nothing.

"So you just assumed right? And decided to come to my rescue." She shook her head, taking off her earrings and setting them on the coffee table.

"So, you chose stripping as a career?" It was sarcastic and slightly low but I didn't fully believe that she herself was conscious of her own life.

She froze then stood up to full height, letting out a slight chuckle. She shook her head, "N…No. I didn't choose to be and exotic dancer but its just something I fell into." She kicked off her shoes and turned to me, "But when you're a single mother and high school drop out, you tend not to be picky on the job you get. And this one pays a lot." She shrugged.

"Wait, High School…" I shook my head not sure I had heard her correctly, "You dropped out of high school." She shrugged and went to walk past me, toward her bedroom, "Wait." I reached out grabbing her arm. It as if an electric current flowed from her arm into my fingers and through out my whole body, increased from the year we had spent apart. She jerked her arm and I instantly let go.

"Look," I said reaching into my pocket, I pulled out an envelope with at least one thousand dollars in it. I held it out to her, "Like I said I just want to help so…" She took it quickly opening it.

Her eyes shifted from confused to shock as she opened it, pulling out the money. The envelope dropped from her hand and she stared at the wad of hundreds. Then her expression morphed into a warped nervous smile. She shook her head holding the money back out to me, "I can't take this from you."

"Bella, you're sleeping with men for money, please just let me-"

"Excuse me?" I could see her eyes blaze even through her contacts.

"I watch you for weeks come out of that club with a different guy ev-"

Her hand slide across my face, I saw her raise her hand but the thought that she would slap me never crossed my mind. I heard the loud pop as her hand made contact with my face. She didn't flinch and she showed no pain on her face.

"Bella, I…"

"How dare you." Her voice was barely a whisper. She flung the money back at me. I made no move to catch it as it hit my chest then fluttered to the floor, "You can keep your fucking sympathy money. I don't need shit from you."

"Bella, your hand." I reach out trying to take a look at her middle finger, which had been dislocated. She jerked her hand out of my reach and began to walk towards the kitchen. Standing behind the couch she pulled her finger popping it back into place.

"How dare you come back into my life, like a my fucking knight when you haven't been here for shit. You don't know what I've been through. You don't know what I've been doing with my life. You don't have a fucking clue." Her hands began to ball into fists as her voice began to raise, "Let's get one thing straight, I haven't been celibate for the past year, but there is no way in hell I would ever, EVER, fuck some random guy for money."

I loud cry came from behind me, I glanced over my shoulder towards the nursery.

"Shit." Was all Bella said as she walked across the living room.

I heard soft cooing and hushing. I shifted my weight awkwardly as Bella walked back out into the room. All of her anger seemed to dissipate as she sat down on the couch swinging the baby slowly back and forth.

Soon the baby quieted and nestled further into Bella's arms. Bella smiled as I stood behind her, "What's her name?"

Bella was silent for a moment, as if she was deciding whether or not to answer my question. The softly she stated, "Alaina. It mean precious."

I shoved my hands in my pockets looking down at the baby's sleeping form, "She's beautiful."

"Well of course she is." She took a deep breath looking up at me with empty eyes, "She is half your's."

**A/N: So yeah guys really tell me what you think. No really If it totally sucks tell me, if its good tell me. Or if you just wanna say Hi that's cool too ^_^. I'm friendly! I don't bite… Unless you want me to XP But yeah hit me up with a comment and we'll chat. Unless you ask me what is going to happen next in which case i'll have to tell you to wait till the next chapter ^_^.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Whoo so how's it going guys? *dodges chairs* yeah sorry i left you on such a cliff hanger, BUT IT MADE YOU WANT THIS CHAPTER MORE RIGHT? *dodges thrown desk* ok ok, well i promise that these next two chapters will satisfy any hunger for Eddy and Bells (i hope .). Enjoy!**

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><p>"<em>Well of course she is. She is half yours…"<em>

My entire body froze as Bella's statement echoed through my mind, taunting me with its impossibility. There was no way. I would have sensed it. I would have know she was pregnant unless… unless the next day I had left. Oh god, what had I done? I left her only to protect her, but in my haste the unthinkable had happened. It made sense that there wasn't a father in the picture, because that father was me.

As my mind raced forward, Bella stood walking back into the nursery as if she hadn't dropped an atomic bomb upon my mind. After a moment of hesitation I followed behind her, standing in the doorway as she tucked Alaina in. Slowly I walked over. Bella had just pulled the blanket over her and moved to wind the pink and yellow mobile that hung above the crib. A soft lullaby began to play as Alaina and I stared at each other. Her hair had a reddish hue, dimmed and looking a deep brown in the darkly lit room. The curly locks contrasted much with the piercing emerald that was her eyes; my human eyes.

I couldn't believe it, though she lay before me, and the evidence was in her features, I didn't believe she was real. With a touch, lighter than the brush of a feather, I reached out, softly touching her rosy cheek. She was so warm, so soft and made no move or flinch at my cold touch. She merely smiled and took my finger in her small hands. I had never encountered anything so tiny, so fragile. Almost instantly I felt my heart warm and she brought my finger to her mouth. A smile pulled at my lips. I didn't think I could love another. Bella was my one and only, taking up every inch of my heart. But as Alaina's eyes transfixed on my hand, I felt it growing and loving this child more than my own life.

Alaina's eyes, still fixed on my hand, began to blur, her eyelids growing heavy. Soon it was too much for her to handle and she fell into a deep sleep. Carefully I withdrew my finger from her grasp and glanced towards Bella, or at least where Bella had been standing. I had been so consumed with Alaina that I didn't notice when she left the room. Tobacco and nicotine flooded my nose almost immediately followed by the sharp click of metal.

I found her standing out on the balcony, her forearms resting on the iron railing, the cigarette between her lips. I lid the glass door closed behind me, then walked to stand next to her. She had changed into tight black hoodie and dark flannel pajama bottoms. The sleeves of the jacket were rolled up, exposing her arms and the bottoms hung low on her hips. Her dark hair was now tied into a low and messy bun, exposing the back of her neck. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch the exposed skin but opted instead to rest my hands on the railing. She took a deep draw of her cigarette then pulled away from her lips, letting the cloud of smoke surround us as she blew out. I watched her silently not knowing what to say next.

She glanced over at me then. The blue contacts were no longer in the way of her beautiful chocolate eyes, but the look in her eyes was so cold and so empty I had to look away. I focused on a random red car in the parking lot below us.

"I'm sorry." I said softly, "I had no idea."

Bella nodded, standing up straight and turning toward the glass door. It was then I noticed the baby monitor on her hip.

"Well I appreciate your apology, but it really isn't needed." Her words were cool and even. I watched as she took another drag, "I understand that you don't approve of my current situation, but from what I understand you didn't want to be part of that at all. So that being said, you can take your money, and your pity and go back to where you have been this past year, because you are not needed here." Not once did she look at me while she said this.

She still… She thought that I didn't love her. Truly thought that I felt nothing for her. I had told her countless times and it only took once for her to truly believe such a horrible lie. What kind of horrible person was I. My original resolve was quickly crumbling as I saw her hands start to shake.

"Bella, I… I didn't leave because I didn't-"

"NO!" She cut me off whipping around and pointing her cigarette at me, "NO!" I took a step back from her raised hands, "You don't get to come back into my life and say those horrible things to me! Don't you dare say you didn't leave because you didn't love me! Because if you loved me you wouldn't have left me out in the middle of the forest crying in the mud!" She threw her cigarette over the side of the railing in looked me in the eye, "Don't toy with me Edward I'm not that stupid little high school girl from before and I won't be a distraction for you any more."

"Bella, I brought nothing but harm to you! The way James came after you was my fault! The way Jasper tried to get you was my fault! Pushing you out of the way I threw you into a wall! BELLA I'VE ALMOST KILLED YOU!" I took a deep breath, leaning against the railing, "I just thought… I just thought that if I left, you would be safe. That's all I ever wanted." I shook my head, "I never wanted any of this to happen."

I heard a soft sniffle and looked up. Bella was holding her face in her hand, shaking it slowly. I stood leaning forward towards her, "Bella."

"No…" She said softly she shook her head hard, "You can't just show up and say that to me." She looked up at me with tears running down her face, "You don't get to just say those things to me…" She hiccupped, turning away from me, "You can't just show up and say the words I've been dreaming about. It's not fair." I closed the distance between us, wrapping my hand around her arm. She pulled away from me, "No…" Her voice was weak and shaky. Still I reached out turning her towards me. She pushed against my chest, but even those were shoves were weak by human standards. I pulled her to me, cradling her head to my shoulder. Then her body went limp as the past months of depression, anger, and resentment exploded from her throat in a loud choking sobs.

I held her tightly, burying my face in her hair. Her tears soaked my shirt and my heart crumbled at the sound of her cries.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry. Oh god, Bella, I'm so sorry." Was all I whispered over and over and over again.

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><p><strong>AN: YAY! Ed/Bells reunions are so much fun to write and i hope you enjoyed it. I'm uploading the next chapter right after writing this cause its, surprisingly enough, finished ^_^. COMMENTS AND REVIEWS PLEASE! They inspire me to write more. Let me know what you would want to see or what you think will happen!**

**~3Whispering Ember**


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n: so i know i promised this yesterday but FFN was being a massive douche and wouldn't let me upload it for like... TWO DAYS! or one... i don't know how much time passed but it felt like forever. Hope you enjoy this chapter. The next is already in progress.**

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><p>Her warmth wrapped around me, the scent of her consuming me as I buried my face in her hair brought back the memories of a year ago. I held her tighter as her tears stained my shirt. If my embrace hurt her, she didn't complain, only burrowed further into my chest. Her fist lightly hit me repeatedly as she whispered, "I hate you," over and over. Each time the words left her lips I replied with a soft, "I'm so sorry." Soon her sobs quieted, turning to silent tears, then none fell at all. Lifting her slowly, cradling her head to my shoulder, I walked her inside.<p>

With her seated in my lap, I pulled her back to look into her eyes. Though they were red from crying, the light I remembered in them had begun to return. I smoothed her bangs out of her face and ran my fingers through her hair. It was so much shorter than I remembered. It fell to her shoulders and layered surrounding her face.

"Why…?" Bella said softly, eyes sifting between mine, searching them.

"What?"

"Why did you leave me like that?" Her lip quivered and I feared that she was going to cry again.

I glanced at the floor, ashamed of myself, "I thought it was best for you. I thought that you would live happily and safely without my influence. I really thought you would move on as if I was never there."

"Did you really think you meant so little to me?" I didn't respond, "You were the world to me. Of course I would have never forgotten you."

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you." I looked back at her, "Not a day has passed that I didn't think of you and wish to be with you." I touched my hand to her cheek, rubbing my thumb along her flushed skin, "I never stopped loving you."

"Then why did you lie to me? Why didn't you tell me how you felt?"

"I knew that you would never let me go. Even telling you such a blasphemous lie I thought I would have to stand there hours convincing you, but you believed me so easily despite all the times I expressed my love. How could you believe me so easily?"

She shook her head; "It never made sense for you to love me." She shook her head again, "There's nothing special about me. I'm human, nothing."

"Bella, you are my world, my life, my light. I only removed myself so that what I am didn't snuff out the beautiful fire you are." I brought her forehead to mine as smelled the salt as a stray tear fell from her eye, "God, please don't cry again I never want to make you cry like that again."

I turned my head up to kiss her, but when my lips were a breath away from hers she whispered, "Please don't…" I pulled back looking at her.

"It'll be hard enough when you leave again. If you kiss me, then I know I won't survive." She climbed out of my lap and sat back against the armrest of the couch.

"Bella, I swear, I will never leave you again. I promise you. I myself will not live through it." I took her hand in mine, rubbing my thumb along her knuckles. She didn't look convince. I would win her trust, if I did nothing else for the rest of my existence, I would win it back.

There was a long silence between us. Bella stared off into space, allowing me to hold her hand. I stared at her, enjoying the warmth of her skin touching mine.

"Why are you in New Hampshire?"

"What?" Bella turned her head to me.

"Why are you here and not Forks? I mean, if you were in trouble, wouldn't you stay back home or go live with Renee?"

She shook her head looking down into her lap, "I didn't know I was pregnant until I got here."

"What do you mean? Why did you come to New Hampshire in the first place?"

Bella pulled her knees to her chest, taking her hand out of mine. She was silent for a moment, pressing her cheek to her knee.

"I couldn't take it."

"Couldn't take what?" I leaned towards her.

"Forks," I sniffed, but I didn't smell any salt water, "You said… You said it would have been as if you never existed, but everything reminded me of you. The table you sat at was empty and only reminded me that you were once there. My empty bed at night, I knew you were once there, and it was just worse." She looked up at me, "Everyone looked at me like a victim. Everyone was carful with what they said to me, what they did around me, or completely avoided me. I just couldn't take it. So I got into my truck and began to drive. When it died I got on a bus. Eventually I ended up in Manchester and that's where I stayed.

"It wasn't until a month later that something was up. I hadn't gotten my period in the past few months and then it dawned on me," She looked away to the far wall again. "that we hadn't used a condom… And you were human at the time."

"Why didn't you go back home when you found out?"

"I was broken, so broken when you left, that I wasn't myself. I'll probably never be that person again with what I've been through, but one thing I knew was I never wanted to be that helpless again. So I redesigned myself and I wanted to raise Alainya on my own, by myself. I didn't need anyone. So I did what I had to and though my choice of income isn't approved by most of society, I'm still here everyday to take care of my daughter, and know her, and can provide for her."

"Bella, I can't let you live like this anymore," She opened her mouth to object but I quickly continued on, "I know I don't have a say, but I have to rectify what I've done. Even if you decide you don't want me around anymore, I can't let you keep stripping."

She laughed stretching her legs out, "I'm not a stripper."

"What? But…"

"I know what you assumed, and it was true at one point."

"I don't understand."

"I'm a go-go dancer." She smiled, "I still wear skimpy clothes that no one should wear in public, but I don't take them off… Anymore." She glanced away, "I warm up the stage for others who are indeed strippers, or other nights I get the crowd going and excited, but I don't strip anymore and I have never slept with anyone for money."

"So… You used to?"

She shrugged, "I was quickly running out of money and this opportunity presented itself, it made a lot with tips and I took it. My boss could see I was clearly uncomfortable and told me that Go-go dancers make almost as much and I might be better suited for that. And I was. I only walk guys to their cars because when their drunk off their ass they'll just throw money at you for being hot." She looked back at me, "I did what I had to."

I looked down at my feet. Everything she had been through was my fault. This would have never happened if I had never left. We'd be happy and together raising a child I thought I would never have.

I took her hand in mine again, "Bella, I'm so very sorry I left you alone." I ran my thumb over the back of her hand, "I promise it will never happen again. I love you and I should have thought of every consequence before acting. I'm hoping that someday you can forgive me for such a blasphemous sin." I inched closer to her look into her eyes, "Love, please don't tell me you don't want to see me ever again. I need to put things right. I want to raise my daughter. I need to be with you." I placed hand on her cheek, rubbing my thumb softly along her skin.

"Edward, I don't need you to put anything right. I understand that you feel bad, but your sympathy isn't needed."

"Bella, it isn't sympathy, it isn't guilt. It's love," I pressed my forehead to hers, "I love you, and I can't stand to see you struggling like this."

She shook her head, "I just… It's not that easy. Things can't just go back to the way they were."

"Do you love me?"

She looked at me, her eyes torn as she hesitated. She shook her head and my heart sank, "I want to say no."

"Do you?"

Her lip quivered, "Yes…"

"Then we'll figure it out." And then I pressed my lips to hers, sighing as her lips melded against mine.

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><p><strong>AN: ahhh... its good to have some things explained right? Please send me some comments questions or concerns about his chapters... They make me want to write more ^_^.**

**Next chapter is promised to be steamy XP**

**~Whispering Ember**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So can I just say being an adult sucks? You get so wrapped up in everything else that you never have time for anything you want. Or you completely forget you were in the middle of a chapter that you should have finished months ago. It sucks. But here it is, Chapter 8. And I hope I didn't disappoint.**

Its funny how love works. There is so much thought that goes into choosing a mate, are you compatible, what is their personality, do you want the same things? Then there is love. Love doesn't make sense, it forces you to do the unthinkable, to make rash decisions, and perhaps walk away, all for love. But though love may force these, if there is love, true undeniable love, there is nothing that can stand in the way of the one you love.

I had wronged Bella in the most unthinkable way. I had left her alone, broken and pregnant. My actions had pushed her to leave her home. She had danced for sick men who threw dollars at her encouraging her to remove her clothes. And my actions had forced this to happen.

But though I had committed such horrible sins, her body, stiff at first, melted into my embrace as she moved her lips against mine. With shaking hands, she plunged her fingers into my hair, fisting it tightly. A loud hiss pulled through my teeth at the ferocity in her actions. Pulling back at my hair she climbed into my lap, fusing our lips once again. Her breath was hard and heavy as our tongues fought for dominance.

My hands, that were resting on the small of her back, began working up their way up the back of her shirt, savoring the feel of her soft, warm skin. My hands changed directions, moving around her torso and up to her chest. Roughly I cupped her breast in my hands, losing myself in the loud moan that escaped from her lips.

Roughly she pushed at my shirt, ripping buttons off as she pulled it off of my body, running her hands along my chest and shoulders. Her lips left a fiery trail down my neck, across my chest, and back up to my lips. I shivered at the feel of her, pushing her shirt over her head. As her top pulled away from her head, her bangs feel messily over her face, covering her hooded eyes.

I reached a shaky hand out, pushing her bangs behind her ear. I looked into her eyes staring at the fire that began to burn again. I rested my hand alongside her neck, smiling softly, "There you are." I whispered. I pressed my lips against hers, "There's my Bella." She blinked, confused at my words, "You were hidden away from me, and I just found you again."

She smiled softly leaning forward and pressing her lips to mine again. I lifted her and placed her onto the couch beneath me. I began to kiss a trail along her chin and down her neck. She shivered as I kissed between her breast.

I pulled back, "Cold?"

She shook her head, "No, feels just right." She smiled brushing a stray piece of hair out of my face. I pressed my lips against hers again. God I love this woman.

I continued kissing her neck hearing the soft moans escape from her until my lips wrapped around her taut pink nipple. She jumped as my tongue flicked across her the tight flesh. I smiled and pulled it into my mouth reveling in the moan I was rewarded with. Her fingers tangled into my hair as I twisted her nipple between my fingers.

I continued to nip my way down her torso, feeling her body twitch whenever I touched a sensitive area.

I'd missed the feel of her skin, heat of her flesh, the smell of her mixed with her favorite strawberry shampoo. I eased her flannel bottoms down her legs, softly kissing the spot where her torso stopped and her legs began. I glanced up as she placed her hands above her head. With her eyes half lidded and darkened with lust, she gently ran her tongue along her top lip. I felt my groin tighten and press against her.

She smirked up at me, trying to suppress a laugh. I ran my hands up her sides, causing her to gasp. I smiled myself, "What's so funny?"

She exhaled sharply, "I just like," She gasped again as I kissed her stomach, "that I have such a strong effect on you."

I chuckled as I began to slide her pants down her legs, "You have no idea." I kissed the skin just above her underwear, "I wonder if I still have that effect on you." My fingers dipped into her panties. Very quickly finding that special spot, I flicked my finger across it quickly. Her body flinched in response. I smiled and kissed her inner thigh as I push one finger inside her. A soft moan escaped her lips as her back arched off the couch, "Yeah, I think I still do," I eased another finger into her and begin to pump slowly.

Her breath quickened in time with my pace, her hips meeting each thrust. Her moans grow louder and I pump faster, my fingers hooking up inside of her. Her body began to writhe beneath me.

"Oh god, Edward. Please don't stop." Her words shoot through me like electricity straight to my groin and I move faster, curving my fingers into her g-spot, massaging her clit with my thumb. I can feel her tightening around me. Suddenly her body convulsed under me. She bit her lip to hold in her scream as she rode out her orgasm, her nails dragging across my skin.

She slumped back down onto the couch. Her breathing was quick and sporadic. Her eyes and closed and an even layer of sweat glistened on her for head. Gently I gathered her in my arms. Lazily she wrapped her legs around my middle, laying her head on my shoulder. I began to kiss her neck, starting behind her ear and working down. I pressed her against the wall next to her bedroom door. Reaching down I pull myself free of my jeans and push into her.

Her head fell back against the wall as her face contorted into an expression of pleasure. I started to move, pushing in and pulling out of her. With each of my movements I am rewarded with a soft cry as her body thumped against the wall in time with my thrusts. Both my hands grasped her hips as she pushed back into me, keeping with my pace.

"Bed." She said between breaths, "Bed… Now…" I pulled her off the wall and walked into the bedroom. I kissed her roughly, thrusting my tongue into her mouth. Our mouths warred with each other as I moved to lay her on the bed.

"No," She panted, "Me on top." I furrowed my brow for a moment but quickly comply. Falling onto my back I allowed her to straddle me. She wiggled a little bit to get her balance on her knees, causing me to groan loudly. Her hair fell down over her shoulders as she placed her hands on my chest. She ground her hips against me causing me to hiss through my teeth.

Barely above a whisper she says, "Put you hands above your head." Her voice was husky and practically had my hypnotized. I did as she said, as my eyes ran greedily up and down her body, and grasped the headboard. Slowly she lowered herself on top of me. Her fingers curled, her nails dragging against my skin as she moaned in pleasure. She rotated her hips, sending shocks of pleasure through my body.

I released the headboard and reached for her hips. Smacking my hand out of the way she stopped all movement. I raised my eyebrow at her. She merely smiled and said, "I said, hands above your head." A smile crept across my face as I put my hands back. She smiled a smug smile and leaned down toward me, "There's a good vampire."

I bucked my hips against her in response and she gasped in surprise and pleasure. I smiled up at her and she scowled at me.

Pressing her lips against mine, she rose up slowly, starting a slow and sensual pace. Gradually her pace sped up, sounds of pleasure escaping from the both of us, I moved my hands to her hips again and this time she didn't push them away. Holding her firmly in place I bucked against her at a rapid pace. Her gasps had become wild and desperate. I could feel her tightening around me. The very sight of her, her head thrown back, her hands grasping my lips was my undoing. I felt myself tighten. I gritted my teeth.

"Edward… Oh my God," She gasped, "Oh my God, Edward…"

"Come on," I said between gritted teeth, "Cum with me." Her muscles convulsing around me as I exploded into her. She let out a silent cry as we road out our orgasms. She collapsed on my chest, both of us gasping for air. I had never felt so full, so complete, so relaxed than with this woman lying with me at that moment. Not even before. I inhaled deeply, taking in her sweet, floral scent. The sweet allure of her blood was less of a burning now that she was back in my arms.

It was then I smelled the salt water. I opened my eyes and looked down at her. The top of her head was the only thing I could see, but her body shook with her silent sobs. I thought to apologize again, but I didn't think it would have done anything good. So instead, I wrapped my arms around her, pressed my lips to the top of her head, and let her cry as I rocked her.

**A/N: So send me a reply guys! I almost ALWAYS reply back. I have a lot of the next few chapters worked out in my head so hopefully the wait won't be so long.**

**3 Whispering Ember**


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: So allow me to introduce myself. I'm Whispering Ember and I used to be on this site all the time. But then I became an adult and it really sucked. This story taunts me… It keeps running through my mind knowing full well I don't have time to write it down. DAMN YOU CREATIVITY YOU NEVER COME TO ME WHEN I NEED YOU! But anyway here's chapter nine._

Bella had soon fallen asleep, rolling over and pushing me away slightly with her foot. I smiled as I brushed a piece of hair out of my face. I let my hand wander down her body and rest on her waist. There I saw faint bruises my hands had left. My happy aura seemed to dim a slightly as I traced the black and blue blemishes as my self-loathing set in. Some things never changed. But there was no way I could leave her again. It was very clear that that had done neither of us good. And now it was more than just get and I in the equation. Now there was Alainya.

My eyes wandered to her arm. Her skin seemed to glow in the moonlight shining through the window. I furrowed my brow as I looked at her arm. Not certain that what I was seeing was real I gently lifted her arm to examine it. Several bright white scars revealed themselves to me. My fingers traced across each of them. I had thought I couldn't hate myself more. Every second that passed it was becoming more apparent that me leaving her was the worst thing I could have ever done.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my cell phone light up. As gently as possible I disentangled myself from Bella and pulled my cell phone out of my pants pocket.

"Hi, Alice."

"So are you with Bella right now?" She asked.

Holding the phone between my shoulder and ear I pulled my pants on and walked out of the room, "I would think you'd know what happened."

She detected the slight playful tone in my voice and sighed, "I would think so too, but I can't see her."

I cocked my head to the side, "Wait, what? But you saw her just the other day."

"I know, but she has completely disappeared from me."

"Is that… good or bad." I heard the bed creak in Bella's bedroom and heard her shuffle from one side of the room to the other. I silently slipped into the hallway.

"Well I can still sense she is there, but I can't see her. Anything she does… nothing." I shook my head not sure how to respond, "So I take it you are with her now?"

"Yes."

"What happened? Is what we thought true?"

"Yes, and no."

Alice was silent for a moment, "Now I don't understand."

"Do you remember a year ago when I disappeared for two days? And you couldn't make sense of anything I was doing?"

"Yeah, right before you insisted we leave Forks." She replied bluntly.

I was silent for a moment, "…Yes." I sighed, "I followed some of Carlisle's notes. He had studied rumors about a witch that would change reality. But his studies never lead anywhere." I hesitated, "Well the rumors turned out to be true."

"Edward… What did you do?" Alice's voice was low, wary.

"A lot of is a blur now. But she had made me human for one day." I took a deep breath waited for her response, "… Are you still there?" I asked when she said nothing.

"Continue."

"Well, Bella and I spent the day together, and I got to experience things through her eyes… so to speak." I swallowed, "Because we were both human and human emotions were new to me… Or renewed either way you want to look at it. But one thing led to another and uh… We had sex." Alice was silent, "She got pregnant Alice."

"Oh my god." I could almost hear her mind working as she processed this information, "Why is she in New Hampshire?"

"She couldn't stand being in Forks so she picked up her things and just left. Ended up here. That's when she found out she was pregnant."

"Did she have it?"

I smiled slightly, "Yeah… It's a girl. She named her Alainya."

Alice giggled, "I'm an Aunt?"

"Yeah…"

"You're a Father?" She squealed.

This time I just chuckled I could almost see her jumping up and down, "When do we get to see her? Do we get to see her? Who does she look more like?..." Alice's questions continued on and on and the more she asked the quicker her voice became. As I waited for her to take a breath I heard bare feet pad across the floor and the patio door open and then shut.

"Alice, I can answer all of those when I get back home, but I'm not one hundred percent sure on what's going on yet, but I have to go."

"Edward, what..."

"Alice, I will fill you in later." I pressed end on my phone and silently slipped back into the apartment. Outside I saw Bella leaning against the railing, her back to me, a cloud of smoke surrounding her. She had donned her flannel pajamas again and a black tank top.

I walked up behind her, placing my hands on her hips as she stood up straight. I leaned down until my lips touched her hair and kissed her lightly. Her entire body went ridged. Slowly I stood up straight. Slowly my hands fell from her hips. She looked down and took another drag of her cigarette.

"Bella?"

"I think you should go."

The wind whipped around us as silence filled the air.

"What?"

"I have to get to sleep, Alainya will be up at 8:30 on the dot and I need to get some sleep." She tossed the butt of her cigarette over the ledge and then turned and walked passed me inside. I stood there a moment, trying to process her sudden change in mood, then followed her inside. She stood at the refrigerator, poking through the different beverages.

"What's…"

"Edward what do you think is going on here?" She turned to me, slamming the door, "Did you really think that you could walk back in here and I would open my arms proclaiming how much I miss you and what not?" I didn't reply, "That Bella you knew is gone, Edward. I have a child now. I'm taking classes so I can support her. I still have to work tomorrow night. Though you've just strutted back into my life, it doesn't stop for you." She crossed her arms and looked away from me.

"Bella, I can't just…"

"I don't need anything from you." She said bluntly, "I have supported myself and my child and I will carry on in just the same way."

"Bella you're floundering."

Her head whipped around her eyes narrowing, "Excuse me?"

I sighed taking a step toward her, "You can't be happy with the type of environment that you are raising Alainya in. During the nights you are gone, during the day you are tired and cold pushing everyone one away. Why are you over here in New Hampshire? Why isn't Charlie a part of your life right now?" I watched her face turn red but not with the embarrassment but with anger, "I just want what's best for you and Alainya."

"Don't you dare, don't you dare tell me what is and is not best. You've already proven you don't know shit. You may not agree with my decisions, but you can tell me I am not there for my child, and I purposefully say _my _child."

"Well, Alainya isn't just you're child, she's mine as well. I can't just walk away from you." I stepped closer to her.

"I don't need you."

"But I need you!" Grabbing the back of her neck, almost roughly, I pulled her to me. Her eyes flew open with shock. Shaking her slightly to reinforce my statement I said softly, "I need you." I pressed my forehead against hers and took a shuddering breath, calming myself down, "God Bella, please stop pushing me away. I hate myself for what I did. I regret nothing more than what I did to you. I need you."

Her hard shield shattered. Her lip starting to quiver, her eyes closing as her head tilted towards the ground. Slowly she raised her hand to place it on top of mind as she looked back up at me, "Please," she whispered softly, "just go…"

Looking into her eyes I realized that this night, I wouldn't get through to her. So slowly I pulled my hands away.

The next moment I was in the dark hallway, my back pressed against the wall. I felt drained, empty, not like my heart was ripped out, but as if it were never there, and the hole ached. From her door I heard to the soft thud as she leaned against the wall and the soft scraping as she slid to the floor. Her soft cries filled the air, only heard by my ears.

_A/N: So I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. To be honest, during New Moon I thought Bella let Edward off the hook too easily. I'm sorry Eddy, but you done fucked up and I personally would have been really… REALLY bitter. So that's that. See you guys in another six months for chapter ten o.O *Dodges computer chairs* _


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